Hello, it is your Goddex speaking.
With knowing Carmen was going to be assassinated at the Thellalolan summer festival, the party set out to find some information about the assassination attempt and who is behind it. Their one lead was the victim, Carmen, and they asked her about what enemies she had, who did this to her, and in one noteable question, asked if she recognised the plain, normal arrow.
Carmen’s noteable enemies were her father, who would hate her for shirking her noble blood, and her ex-fiancee, who she left the arranged marriage so she could be with Solana.
It wasn’t until Royal asked if she recognised anything about the note that was tied to the arrow. Carmen recognised the handwriting, which was of the Whitecliff’s court decrepit scribe, who wrote most of the letters for nobles within the Whitecliff court. This narrowed the suspects to nobles within the Whitecliff court, who hated Carmen for whatever reason.
The party knew that no weapons and armour were allowed at the festival, so they pre-emptively bought a bag of holding and stored their weapons in them in case an all out brawl happened. The rest of the gear will be kept for safe-keeping in Solana’s mother’s house.
Upon viewing the map of the party, the group doled out locations and plans. Royal took the stage with Ryuu as a wallflower near it. Astor was on the dancefloor, Filen with the food tables, and Merley at the bar. With the group so spread out, they could look innocuous and get a good view of each part of the party. And naturally, Royal had a stellar perform check, and was singing a musical version of Xena: Warrior Princess season one.
The first assassin was found by Ryuu, Astor and Royal. She was a dancer, and had something sharp and shiny, and with a well-placed suggestion, she handed the now-disguised “bouquet of flowers” (dagger) to Royal, and then walked outside with Ryuu. After an attempt of interrogation, Ryuu rolled a cracking intimidation check, and made the poor lady piss herself in fear. She admitted that she was working for Edmund to kill Carmen, and that there were 3 other assassins at the party. She quickly scampered as she didn’t want to get killed by the scary dragonborn.
With one assassin down, it panned over to Filen and Merley. Filen spotted someone with a weird rod in their trousers, so he decided to keep an eye on him. While, at the bar, Merley royally failed a constitution check for some honey mead, threw up on the bartender and the bar, and was manhandled out and left to sleep off the drink in a puddle of her own puke and in the grass. This is where she spent the rest of the session with continuing shitty constitution saves.
It panned back to Filen, who decided to approach the strange rod man when he began to approach the bar, where Carmen and Solana were doing shots.
Filen asked the man how to magically cook food, and while doing so, did a crap sleight of hand roll and ended up cupping his genitals. Not knowing what to do, Filen shouted BANANA, which brought Ryuu over, and they decided to leave the party to discuss what had happened. The man demanded an apology, hated the fact that he got felt up, and Ryuu offered to buy him a drink in apology. Upon walking back to the bar, the man drew out a rod, and was levelling it at Carmen when Filen attempted to tackle him (missed), Ryuu attempting to punch him (missed) and Royal casted sleep. With the man passed out, he was assumed too drunk, and was added to the passed out pile with Merley.
Next, the bartender was under suspicion. They were selling a weird half-orc alcohol, one that was clear and was easily flammable, when Royal spotted something that didn’t match the rest of the bartenders: a purse. Their last suggestion was used asking them to place the purse on the bartop, which revealed strange white pills. They revealed that they wanted to kill Carmen for Edmund, before killing themselves with a hidden cyanide pill. Royal quickly covered for the death by saying “ha! You can’t handle your alcohol! Someone add them to the drunk pile!” which convinced most everybody that looked their way.
Three out of four assassins down. Dagger, rod, poison, the fourth they guessed would be on the rooftops surrounding. Ryuu and Royal laid out a distraction, while the rogues climbed up top. Astor handily pulled herself up there, but fell off immediately after. Filen, while struggling to get up, actually managed to stay on, and while stealthed, noticed a sweet hog roast.
Royal actually noticed the 6 assassins aiming their bows Carmen, and yelled BANANA HAMMOCK (an agreed upon alert word), which alerted the entire party. In a flash, the rogue was back up there attacking, Filen had already run one through, and Ryuu was already throwing punches because he forgot his weapon and forgot he had a breath attack.
From the ground, Royal had thrown Carmen a bow, and she picked off the last of the assassins, who were stunned from a unified attack. They only managed to get a few volleys off, grazing Carmen and Solana, and few of the party members.
Somehow, despite Merley being pissed for all of it, and some incredibly shitty rolls, the party had made sure Carmen and her wife-to-be were safe. And it was an incredible experience sitting through the results.
Tune in next time to hear about the aftermath, and hopefully learn more about the political intrigue. Like, who wants Carmen dead that bad? She’s a precious ranger lesbian of whom we love. She better start praying to me, your Goddex, that she isn’t put in harms way yet again.