Hello, It is your Goddex speaking.
It’s been a long while hasn’t it? This DM had their birthday (got wankered both ways), and then went to a convention where they absolutely annihilated their knee.
But we’re back, and we’re finally ready to knock out this hellspawn manor once and for all… hopefully.
We started off this session with a crack rather than a bang, as the bard tried to kick open the next door. He ended up dislocating his knee, of which he rather professionally put that back in with a good medicine check.
To which Ryuu, local Big McLargehuge strongman, opened the door with a strength check and took it off it’s hinges. He then got greeted with two very pissed giant constrictor snakes. Everyone rolled initiative and did rather well, including myself. Ryuu’s first move was him throwing the door at a snake, and actually doing damage, which was incredible.
Astor, on the other hand, did not have such luck. She fed her rapier to the snake, and then got constricted and trapped by it. She did, however, get partially free, and thwapped it on the nose with a punch for constricting her.
Now. Filen really likes snakes. Really likes snakes. So when he saw the giant dog noodles, he really wanted to “boop the snoot”. And he did, except he lost 3 fingers on his right hand because of it. Everyone broke down laughing when he said he now has “a permanent fingergun.”
Royal, after an inspiring song of “Everybody Knows Shit Fucked”, charged in and absolutely obliterated the first snake with a crit, and Ryuu followed that up with a crit of his own and beheaded the other snake. In one round, after many rounds of struggle, two crits happened and the fight was over.
Now that they had the symbol of trap, they placed them in the locked door. It opened with Filen’s touch, to which he got blown down the stairs with a giant gust of air while everyone else remained standing. Inside, was a hallway that was quite similar to a throat, and Ryuu was the first person to brave this moist cave.
Inside was a room of which 6 bodies in burlap sacks dropped down, hanging from a noose. A puzzle was scratched out on the far wall, asking the players to free the innocent man. After much debate, they decided on the counterfeiter which thankfully for them, was the right answer. The puzzle on the wall turned into a mouth, of which opened and revealed a giant heart.
A brief debate happened, and Astor just decided to stab it because honestly, what else could they do? It was the heart of the manor, and the manor needed dealing with.
So they stab the heart, and brilliant flash of white overcomes their vision. Most people are left standing, with the exception of the bard, who is passed out in a puddle of their own puke.
Carmen and Solana appear shortly, thanking them for their work, while spreading salt around the edge of the crater of what used to be the manor.
We ended the session with a level up – they had finally reached level 3, the lucky sods. But many of them, particularly Filen, wondered what the cost was for all that XP. Filen seemed particularly disturbed.
What a fantastic session to come back to, and hey, we might even have some newcomers at this rate. So you better thank me, your Goddex, because who else can you thank? I’m brilliant! See you next time, readers.